Shameless Self Self-Promotion

What's this I hear from my mole at the Parkway? An impromptu Terminal Gravity night on Tuesday June 30th at 6pm. Featuring their IPA, Golden, Tripel, and Breakfast Porter.

Oh No, Really New Beer

We just heard from Travis at 7Seas brewing that they are making actual beer!! Here's where you can catch them first:

Thursday, July 9th at the Tide's Tavern in Gig Harbor. 6-9 pm featuring Cutt's NW style Amber ale. Discounted pints and merchandise giveaways.
Also, Sat, July 11th at the Hi-Lu-Hee-Hee Tavern in Gig Harbor. Featuring 7 Seas British Pale Ale. 6-9 pm with discounted pints and merch. giveaways.

Sounds like a trip across the great divide is in the works.

Addendum:
And to avoid being sat on I should add that the Red Hot will be hosting a first pouring of 7 Seas Ballz Deep Imperial IPA on July 25th. That's a month from now so mark it on your calendars.

Shameless Self Promotion Dept.

I would drink some of these if I hadn't been 86'd from the Red Hot:

Great Divide 15th Anniversary Wood Aged Double IPA (Denver, CO)
21st Amendment Brew Free or Die IPA (San Francisco, CA) (1st keg in the state!)
Great Divide Titan IPA (Denver, CO)
Russian River Consecration (Santa Rosa, CA)
Georgetown Manny's Pale Ale (Seattle, WA)
NBB Lips of Faith Dandelion Ale (Fort Collins, CO)
Bayern Pilsener (Missoula, MT)
NITRO: Hales HSB (Seattle, WA)
Dick's Cream Stout (Centralia, WA)
Georgetown 9LB Porter (Seattle, WA)
Vitamin R (Beer From Here)

Here's what else I'll miss out on:
Pike XXXXX Stout, Great Divide Chocolate Yeti on NITRO, Ninkasi Total Domination IPA, Deschutes Black Butte Porter, Elysian Pink Peppercorn Saison, Skagit River Sculler's IPA, Iron Horse Imperial IPA, Schooner Exact Hefeweizen, and more!

Meanwhile at the Parkway I'd suggest the Southern Tier Iniquity Black IPA, Cascade Mouton Rouge, Sierra Nevada Celebration 2007, Sierra Brown Saison, Victory Abbey 6, and Hair of the Dog Doggie Claws Barleywine 2007.

Red Hot, Ice Cold

Just heard from Chris at the Red Hot about his latest million dollar idea:

"On Sunday, June 21 (Father's Day) we're doing real beer floats: Dick's Cream Stout and Vanilla Bean Ice Cream.
We're gonna do this with a different beer every Sunday."

As if thick juicy weiners aren't enough.

Shameless Self Self-Promotion

Wednesday night is Sierra Nevada night at the Parkway. 6-9pm as usual. Schwag, glassware, and beer. All the usual flavors, but including these seldom seen gems:

Chico Harvest
Southern Hemisphere
Kellerweiss
Cask Best Bitter
Brown Saison
Bigfoot
Celebration 2007
Celebration 2008
Randall Celebration 2008

See you there

Oh No, Not More Breweries

Here's a couple of relatively recent applications to the Liquor Board for new breweries:

Airways Brewing Company
1247 S 230th. St, Des Moines, WA 98198-6450
Looks like somebody's house, again.

Wookey Hole Brewery
736A N 95th. St, Seattle, WA 98103-3115
Looks like an overpriced condo. Interestingly, this guy, William P. Reeves, has applied for a Domestic Brewery licence which means he hopes to sell over 60,000 barrels a year, that's 120,000 kegs, out of his condo. Of course I may be missing something, so I'll check with some experts.

Meanwhile, Fremont Brewing, a "sustainable, organic microbrewery " looks close to opening. Although I wouldn't want to drink beer from a non-sustainable brewery.
And the 7 Seas guys are talking about this summer for their grand opening, so they'd better hurry.

Update 06.17.09
I heard back from Travis at 7 Seas who tells me he just got yeast and will be brewing within a week. Beer should be ready for kegging in early July.

We Drink Beer So You Don't Have To

This week the panel was hosted by the fine brewers of the E9. We were ushered upstairs to the meeting rooms usually reserved for more important people than us. If you've never been up the secret stairs at the E9 ask someone, it's cool up there. We were also treated to a couple of house brews that Shane was quite proud of.

Read on, dear reader, read on:

JK's Scrumpy
Organic Apple Cider ABV 6%
Almost unfiltered with a light carbonation that is not detrimental to the style. Very sweet with flavors of apple peel. Alcohol is well hidden, in fact very well hidden. If you ever wanted to put a diabetic high school girl into a coma, and we don't suppose you would or should, this is the juice. Quite tasty though.

3 out of 5

E9
Oaked Saison ABV 7%
Hazy wheat color with a thin head. Very light estery, yeasty, nose with hints of banana and corn. More creamy than crisp, the oak muddies the finish. Definite Dupont funk present but lacks the fresh farmyard alfalfa cow poop character. Alcohol well hidden but still gives a pleasant warming. A good saison up front but gets confused in the finish.

Split 4s and 3s out of 5

Next we tried a trio of efforts from a brewery new to the market. Thanks for nothing overzealous sales robot.

Black Diamond
Free Style Belgian Blonde ABV ?
Aptly named, although "Lacking Style" might have been more accurate. Light amber color and no nose. If you're going to make a crappy Belgian don't make it taste like a French lager.

1 out of 5

Steep Trail Amber ABV 5.7%
It's amber looking. Sugary nose. Remember when Alaskan Amber tasted good? Neither do we but this is worse. Watered down malt and chocolate...wait.. is that a hop in the finish? Nope.

1 out of 5

IPA ABV 7.3%
Amber color and smells like the amber too. Interesting malt and slight hops. Balanced to the point of oblivion. A little more body and this could impersonate a NW brown. Not an IPA but maybe a good something else. Not bad hops in the finish but the alcohol burns hot.

IPA 1 out of 5
Something else 2 out of 5

New Belgium
Love Sour ABV 6%
The unblended raw material for La Folie. Hazy orange color. Smells like toast. Tastes like toast with a hint of bile. Strawberry notes just before the finish but overwhelmingly sour. Other than trumpeting the technical accomplishment it's difficult to see who this might appeal to. Still we really liked the toast and the finish gets more complex as it breathes. If you like sours you'll probably like this, if you don't, then you haven't disappeared up your own beer geek ass yet.

3 out of 5

Sierra Nevada
Torpedo Extra IPA ABV 7.2%
Dark gold to red color. Solid head. Slightly cheesy nose. Good bitterness in the middle and a solid finish. But, and this is a big but, a beer brewed by guys with slide rules. Not fancy or outstanding but solid and textbook. Maybe someone could send a slide rule to the Black Diamond folks.

A solid 3 out of 5

E9
IPA ABV 6.5%
My notes get a little blurry here so we'll go with the stream of consciousness style of reporting.
Golden. Skunky. Butterscotch. Bag of Hellertau. Pleasant nose. Candy. Watery. Harsh bitterness. Orangey. Needs more body. Young. Chewing pine cones. Fishy. Buttery. Cheesy.

2 out of 5

Lagunitas
Hop Stoopid Double IPA ABV 8%
Gold color. Citrus pineapple and weed (no shit) in the nose. Creamy mouth feel with tropical mango and strawberry hints. Solid body and bitterness all the way through and a hint of spice at the end gives a nice counter to the hops. Not much of this went into the dumpbucket.

4 out of 5

Green Flash
Le Freak Imperial IPA/Trippel ABV 9.2%
It's no secret that many of us aren't fans of this style. We still aren't. Hazy golden honey color. Spicy nose of cumin and banana. The first 2/3rds aren't bad but the finish is medicinal peat and peppery. The high alcohol is drying and not well disguised. Another science experiment gone wrong. Why ruin two beers? Still some geeks like this stuff.

2 out of 5

Dumpbucket
Jesus! That is horrible. Like being at a party where everyone is throwing up. For once Knuckles, the Hobo, Chug guy, and the Panel agree.

Negative zero

Blog Blahs

Is my internet connection that slow or has Spew really not posted in 5 days?

I tell ya there's a massive business opportunity waiting to be grasped if anyone wants to join my team. No experience or talent required, that should be obvious. Just an ability to drink beer, work in the early morning hours, and occasionally piss some people off.

We Drink Beer So You Don't Have To

Kind of a hodge-podge of beers this week, some new, some old, some aged but unfortunately nothing outstanding.

Read on patient reader, read on:

Scuttlebutt
Golden Mariner Golden ABV
Forced on us by a sales robot with a quota to meet. Pale yellow color. Lots of sweetness up front but there's an odd flavor in there that we couldn't quite put our finger, or tongue, on. Hints of apricot on the ass end.. but what is that weird flavor? You tell us.

2 out of 5

Deschutes
Red Chair IPA ABV 6.4%
From the people that know how to make great beer, (Dissident, Super Jubel, Mirror Mirror, Hop Henge) but occasionally choose not to, we present this non-descript blah. If you don't like IPAs this is an IPA for you. Light, weak body, and lacking oomph. Better on draft than from the bottle. Next, please?

2 out of 5

Grand Teton
Sweetgrass IPA ABV 5.5%
Careful what you wish for. A delicious and provocative nose of, how do you say it, nothing. It tastes like beer soaked in stale cardboard. Maybe an old bottle. So don't buy any old bottles of this stuff, you have been warned.

1 out of 5

Ninkasi
Total Domination IPA ABV 6.5%
Revisiting this one, we'd be curious what we said about it the last time. Apparently we used to say more. We are jaded, aren't we? Anyhoo, this time it smells fresh but tastes like B.O. with an orangey cream-sickle thing going on. Creamy and prickly mouth feel, good carbonation and more oranges. Again, this does not totally dominate anything except maybe the brewery's business plan.

2 out of 5

Sierra Nevada
Kellerweiss American Hefeweizen ABV 4.8%
Smells like a solid wheat beer, if there is such a thing, or if it can smell solid. Pleasant golden yellow color that, given the right lighting, would glow on the pages of Bon Appetit. Lemony notes and orange on the nose but not a whole lot of body. Maybe we didn't pour it correctly. Very drinkable though, not because it's especially good but because it's ummm...drinkable. I hear there will be a keg of this at next week's Parkway Sierra brewer's night so you can try it for yourself.

2 out of 5

Bayerische Staatsbrauerei Weihenstephan
1809 Berliner Style Weisse ABV 5%
Hazy yellow color and very carbonated with a big fluffy meringue head. Smells like lemons and tastes like juice. One of the better educated members of our panel, and I do mean member, tells us that this style of beer is supposed to be mixed with fruit syrup and consumed for lunch, or some such nonsense. The sourness gives an impression of refreshment but really makes you just want to drink more. Slight maltiness gives it an unique finish. A gateway sour beer.

3 out of 5

Brouwerij Van Honsebrouck
Brigand Belgian Strong Pale ABV 9%
Thick, almost nitro-style head. Pale golden color. A little bubble gum on the nose but a hint metallic too. There's a taste of chemicals, Super Elastic Plastic comes to mind. Sweet and dry are fairly well balanced. But why send a sensitive beer on a 6 month voyage up the Panama Canal. Go to Belgium.

1 out of 5

New Belgium
La Folie '08 Flemish Sour ABV 6%
Soapy aroma. Baby aspirin and baking soda in the middle with a raw lemon juice tartness. The original complexity has veered towards a one-dimensional sourness. The most exciting thing about this beer was how the cork put a dent in the ceiling. We think it might be off. Here's some further details from the New Belgium folks themselves. Don't buy beer with a cork, folks, or at least drink it on the way home.

Port Brewing
Hot Rocks Lager Dunkel ABV 6.5%
So, it's no secret that we don't care for Emperor Tomme Arthur and his new outfits, but we try to keep an open mind. Well, actually, we don't but it sounds good to say so. We have a feeling he tried to pawn this crap off on us once before but called it Midnight Sessions. Obviously we didn't care for that either. Bland and tasteless, the hanging metallic tang is the only memory.
This wouldn't be a complete Port Brewing review if we didn't finish with a "Fuck you, Arthur." So here we go, holding hands, heads held high....you know the rest.

1 out of 5

Stone
12th Anniversary Bitter Chocolate Oatmeal Stout Imperial Stout ABV 9.2%
Yup, that's chocolaty. More like that powdered cocoa stuff or baking chocolate. Leaves a pleasing warmth in the old gut, but again slightly metallic. Maybe hasn't aged well. Where does that metallic flavor come from?

3 out of 5

Dumpbucket
Very typical dumpbucket. Smooth and awesome. Tastes like a black lager should. We'll send some to Tomme.

Knuckle-o-meter: "It's the Dilithium crystals, Cap'n"
Hobo: Stoked
Chugability: √0
Panel: 4 out of 5

Shameless Self-Promotion Dept.

Once more from the Red Hot:

Stone IPA (Escondido, CA)
Northern Lights IPA (Spokane, WA)
Hale's Aftermath Imperial IPA (Seattle, WA)
New Belgium Brewing "The Love" Flemish Sour (Fort Collins, CO)
Snoqualmie Falls Haystack Hefeweizen (Snoqualmie Falls, WA)
Baron Pils (Seattle, WA)
NITRO: North Coast Old Rasputin Imperial Russian Stout (Fort Bragg, CA)
Yakima Craft Brewing Good Monkey Belgian Strong Golden Ale (Yakima, WA)
Hales Troll Porter (Seattle, WA)
Fish Tale Poseidon Imperial Stout (Olympia, WA)
Rainier (The Beer From Here)

Silver City Whoop Pass Double IPA and Schooner Exact 3 Grid IPA should be on before the weekend is out, as well as Elysian/NBB Collaboration "The Trip II", a hybrid Belgian Pale. Also look for Lazy Boy Brewing's Amber Ale and Big Al's Smoked Porter.

Tonight, Friday June 5th is Big Chris's Birthday! Instead of buying him a pint, buy yourself one, and he'll pour it for you!

And don't forget Pliny the Elder and Homo Erectus appearing together tonight at the Parkway. Also pouring at the PW: Victory Rauch Porter, Big Al's Tripel, Anderson Valley Horn of Beer Barleywine, Port Townsend Imperial Scotch, Silver City Deluxe Malt Liquor, Great Divide Saison, Victory Baltic Thunder Porter, and a bunch of other stuff.

Look What I Can Do!

I haven't delved into industry gossip in a while. Mostly because nobody gives a monkey's, but New Belgium's recent job search for a South Sound "Beer Ranger" has got everyone excited. They got over twenty applicants for what has to be considered a sweet position. I would have applied myself but I'm too old, too drunk, and can't ride a bicycle.

But it makes us wonder, can things be so rough at Columbia and Click that every decent salesperson wants to take a pay cut to peddle Fat Tire?

If anyone's willing to take it, my money is on Heidi from Columbia. You heard it here first.

And speaking of plum jobs is there anyone out there who sees their future in the exciting world of Tacoma beer blogging? I am clearly overwhelmed by the responsibilities of this endeavor and could use some help. No pay, maybe some free beer, lots of possibilities.