We Drink Bad Beer So You Don't Have To Too

Once again I have a stack of curling, beer soaked, tasting notes that I have been ignoring. Trying to figure out a way of organizing them, and avoid writing them up, I hit upon the perfect solution. So here's the worst, but not all bad, beers we have tasted in the last month:

Anchor
Summer Beer American Wheat ABV 4.6%
Tastes like a wheat heavy non-alcohol beer, someone said Kaliber, not sure how they would know that. Effervescent with a tart macro lager finish. If it ever gets back into the high 90s, and you are stupid enough to mow your brown lawn, drink something else.

1 out of 5

Great Divide
Dunkel Weiss ABV 6.4%
Clean start, middle and finish. Maybe too clean because this beer is just plain dull. Even the hint of breadiness that someone detected in the middle is Wonder bread not rich roasty baguette. Thin and watery.

1 out of 5

Bells
Cherry Stout ABV 7%
Medicinal prescription cough syrup, a little chocolate with a sharp tartness. Woodiness is too tanic with a little hop bitterness. Drink it from a snifter with cheese or chocolate. Other serving suggestions from these notes are "with a hooker and a cheeseburger." You decide.

2 out of 5

Firestone-Walker
Double Barrel Pale ABV 5%
Not much nose. A decent body with a slight toasty vanilla finish. A bit puzzling and difficult to pin down. Is it a pale or a bitter? Does double barrel mean something? We figure it's better than a lot of ambers out there.

2 out of 5

Founders
Double Trouble Imperial IPA ABV 9.4%
An odd sweet and sour nose. May have lost something in transit because it seems like it could be complex and interesting if it were fresher. Some potential if you lived in Michigan.

2 out of 5

Schlitz
Bull Ice Malt Liquor ABV 8.2%
Smells like the industrial steel vat it spewed out of. Sickeningly sweet with a nasty alcohol burn. We need a government program to stop people drinking this garbage.

0 out of 5

Norrebro Bryghus
North Bridge Extreme Imperial IPA ABV 9.6%
Smells like chicken bouillon still in cube form but tastes like beef gravy. Ratebeer scores this a 99 which is 99 more than we give it.

0 out of 5

Big Al
Belgian IPA
Smells like Bazooka Joe bubblegum but definitely a lot less funny. Tastes like rock sugar. One of Big Al's better beers.

2 out of 5

Next up: the beers the self-appointed, self-important, and self-inebriated Panel members thought were worth drinking.